#AskSherryFairy ? So Let the Tales be Told. Fairly Useful Advice for Every Occasion! 100 percent Free, and Good, for nothing So they say .

This image has an empty alt attribute; its file name is avip.gif

Sherry Fairy : “Greetings All. Still using your feet for transportation I see. How Quaint.
Okay, okay , alright, whatever,  let’s get on with things straight away….

I’m here to address all the worrisome things writers er..um worry about…

 .

First Question …. AND STOP ALL THAT SCREAMING … now lets talk pics..

Mere Mortal, third from the left, wearing a stupid hat :

OMG  NEVER!  I WOULD SOONER DIE THAN BE PHOTOGRAPHED

IT’S NOT FAIR ,  woe is me, what did I do to deserve this? Who put you in charge  anyway? (Asking for a friend) “

“Why would anyone in their right mind  want to take your advice about anything. Or even me too. Now I’m confused. Is this some sort of a horrible dream?  What is this  hideous  photography thing you speak of good for ?
I don’t wanna do it , i don’t like to be told what to do,  and i hate you , I want to go home.

Sherry Carroll: No reason, Never, Tough luck. the feeling is mutual, you’re not the boss of me, Too bad, So sad, I guess it really does suck to be you 

Mere Mortal #2 with a face like lukewarm play dough in the rain raising hand  enthusiastically and smiling proudly 

“I’m the friend!”

 

Mere Mortal  #4 standing over by snack table churlishly tossing his ridiculous , even more stupid looking hat into the ring :

WHY? Why? Why do you torment me?

Haven’t I told you a hundred times I don’t like to have my picture took? WHEN WILL YOU STOP TALKING ?  I hate you , I hate me, i hate  you all! Why wont everyone Just Leave me Alone? Its so UNFAIR I don’t wanna, why are you trying to force me ? I am so unbearably ugly , why are you so mean?

Sherry Fairy : Tough luck, Too bad, So sad, Who cares, Life is unfair, Get used to it. And no one really knows for sure. Could be some bad tuna. Might be Satan. Its one of the Great Unsolved Mysteries of the Universe. My guess is it all had something to do with a sticky dresser drawer in a seedy hotel room in Fresno in 1983, but i can’t really be certain, i guess we will never know. But i digress…

Sherry Fairy :  gives mere mortal #1 the thumbs up,  but he appears to be attempting to  suddenly drift off to sleep  on the carpet, rapidly producing an impressive puddle of snot and  drool 

Sherry Fairy : AS I WAS SAYING, before I was so rudely interrupted …

I understand why you all might be confused and alarmed under these circumstances. If you are anything like most people there is nothing you hate more than having your picture made by, or with, somebody besides yourself. 

Now why don’t we take a short pause so you can all  practice by taking  some selfies?

Or as I like to more accurately call them “Alone-sies.
because  unless someone besides you took the picture, they are not in fact selfies, they are technically Someone Elsies .


Or as we used to call them back in my day . say it with me , very slowly,

A photo-graph . Of you .

MERE MORTAL #3:  screams in horror while clutching her pearls, and collapses on a nearby  folding table, which does just exactly that.

Several young mortals attempt  to un-collapse  both the table and the mortal madam in pearls  but it went horribly wrong now all have become one.that’s a pity. anyhoo..

Sherry Fairy: I’m afraid you have no choice in the matter, it must be done

Because NO ONE in the outside world truly believes writers are actually capable of this so we must bravely prove otherwise.

Because occasionally,  and  generally without warning,  life will demand  things  that require you to put down your cell phone/camera/keyboard, and get out of your house and get yer picture took, so there is actual physical  proof of your being alive for various and assorted reasons 

and furthermore they also expect us to suffer the insult and  indignity of producing actual physical evidence of such a thing !

In the form of a photograph to stick on stuff to prove it.

SO  force yourself untangle yourself from all the cords, disconnect from the wi-fi and step away from your computer . Being careful not to disturb the ever increasing  mound of the  loose debris on the floor surrounding you

(all hail the sacred snack pack and soda can burial mound)

in order to make yourself presentable enough to be viewed by your average outside world dweller without fear of them running  away and screaming in horror at the sight of you 

DISCLAIMER this rarely , as in NEVER,  actually happens.

 Many of you may feel  uncertain of yourself, after years  hunched over a keyboard, watching your flesh stop being flesh colored 

HOWEVER

The Reader ,  a curious creature by nature,  enjoys examining its prey before consumption   And  same goes for editors and interviewers and  fans  and agents….

And you will need them for bios and profile pictures  and book jackets  and websites and to remind your family what you look like,  in real life    

So we have no choice but to achieve  the deed at least once,  every few years,  for the sake of our careers,  to the delight, or  in spite of the  despair or damage to our self esteem. This can be incredibly intimidating and the cause of much unnecessary anxiety

So  my answer is :  You Have to Stop Being So Hard on Yourself .

Because Fear of taking a bad picture is the number one way of  insuring  producing one. 

A tense , anxious , frustrated , pissed off face is not a good look on anyone , unless you are Clint Eastwood,  my agent Gladys,  or Harrison Ford

Its a vicious circle , but it is one I  can teach  you  how to break free from, if you choose to.

Stop  to stop hating everything about yourself  because when you see yourself you see nothing but the big picture , and  everything and everyone else in it, which has been photo shopped beyond recognition, and bears no relation at all to reality

Its a portrait burned into your brain by a machine, designed only to sell things  and promote people  with fake featureless features because everything unique or interesting about them has been artfully (and literally) virtually  removed .

I don’t know about you but I can’t tell any of those airbrushed people apart.

Making us  feel like failures and our features feel like  flaws , and it  can all seem too huge  and overwhelming to deal with, whenever  you see  candid pictures or look in the mirror  or get  your picture took, on purpose or by accident,  so you just don’t.

But sometimes you must . So don’t creep around your whole life avoiding the camera and feeling  sorry for yourself. 

 TAKE ACTION . GET  PREPARED

Try spending more time in front of it, not less , examining all the small miracles that add up to who you really are. and learn to love them

Don’t worry i’m not going to give you a some sort of useless, pointless, pep talk, supportive  sounding lecture about how you are beautiful just the way  you are and how you should  love yourself , and have no reason to feel bad just because I say so.

Telling somebody to ” get over it” and all their problems would be solved,  if  they  would only do exactly  as they were told , use some sorta magic trick and flick their handy dandy  self esteem get quick- fix -switch off super low to max  high!  

And if they just loved themselves  everything would be just fine

 It is not only useless and stupid , it usually makes people feel worse about themselves , because if they could love themselves they would, but they cant, so they don’t , and then hate themselves more for one more thing they think is terrible and wrong about themselves  

That’s not how this Fairy flies .

Just accept in advance the existence of photography and odds are it’s going to happen at least once in your writing  life , no matter  how you feel about the matter,

SO I would like you to know some specific actions and proven techniques that will actually help in that the situation , if you use choose to use them.

Number one :  Take a really good look at yourself in a mirror,  concentrating on observing yourself completely objectively and  judgement free from preconceived ideas of  what flaws or assets you do,  or do not already possess . 

I know how difficult that is for all of us. but  consider it a test  you must master or a challenge  you must overcome, not  a personal issue . 

 Step outside of yourself  and  examine yourself as a stranger would,  look with fresh eyes at what other people  see,  how would they describe you or  would they notice about you. 

What do you notice first when you meet someone new ? Certainly not any small insignificant flaws. 

Now try seeing your face, not as your own,   but as the face of long awaited , greatly  anticipated visitor, a beloved lifelong friend.  Look at yourself as if  you were someone you love

Someone who only brings joy with their presence 

What do you see?  

 Oh Dear . Well, we have a long , long way to go then …

Begin to make a list of each of  the good things you noticed and features you found appealing , and attractive  in that face

 Focus only on all the things you are physically pleased with and proud of , think of the physical qualities that you do admire about yourself , the progress you have made growing and learning , and goals you are working towards with this strong  and brave and beautiful  physical machine

  Do it loud enough in your mind  you cannot hear anything  negative,  refuse any  thoughts  of your real or perceived flaws and failures, reject any unfair or habitual objections, only allow praise for this vessel  which allowed you to become who you are, where you are now 

Accept your reflection is a testament to the  uniqueness of your being,  your skin a  living breathing  map of  your  strength and struggles , a container of  your  character, and  companion from day one  on  your life’s  journey 

Thank your body. Appreciate It. View it with only kindness and gratitude and remember it is a product of  and a gift from your  entire ancestral line.  Pretty cool, eh?   

   Its the only one you got , or will ever have , so you might as well love it and treat it well , admire it and  enjoy it.  Do not allow your mind to disrespect or demean it. It is yours and for you,  it is perfect 

   Look at your face now, and remember everything you learned .

They say if you silently look at someones eyes for less then a half hour you cant help  but fall a little bit in love with them. That is science Bro

  Look at it long enough, with love, as perfection, never comparing it to anyone else’s,  and let its unique beauty begin to grow on you 

After all that’s exactly what its been doing your whole life  

 

Growing on you … See what i did there?

By hunting  for however long as it takes , and finding each individual part of your body you feel  comfortable with and not self conscious about, and as your admiration  grows for this miracle you inhabit , your respect and  confidence will  naturally grow stronger  accordingly.   

Because that  determined chin ,  your grandfathers wise  watery blue eyes, those  asymmetrical ears,  inherited  from your mother’s side of the family , that imperfect brow line, your unfashionable  nose and  great big crooked  mouth,  all  unsuitable  to fit a fashion magazine cover , fit you perfectly . One could almost say they were made for you 

 These tools your body  built just for you ,  in order to live your story as only you  can.

Do this Meditation as often as you feel you need to 

 

NUMBER TWO

Spend quality time having fun with your inner child , by just playing around with your appearance in front of a mirror, making various  and assorted faces at yourself  like a supermodel or  six year old. Play with scarves and hats .

Strike a pose . then Vogue 

In order to get comfortable  and confident with your own appearance , which you usually only  catch glimpses of while brushing your teeth or hair  a few mins a day 

Learn to love the sight of the  face and shape that you were given  and all the interesting and  remarkable things they can do! 

  Practicing  appealing   new expressions to wear on your face when you need them , discover if you have a good or bad side , how to hold your head to make the neck look longer and more swan like, giving yourself a flirty wink , no matter how silly it  may feel at first

Because  finding out  what poses and positions make you look your very best , and are most flattering to your features,  trains you to be ready, willing and able to use them on command. 

All those gorgeous actors at the movies and those  models on magazine covers  didn’t get there by accident , they spend hours a day, every day doing  the exact same thing   

  Let me tell you a Secret …

Looking and feeling  attractive (to yourself and others) is actually nothing  more than a skill and just like every other skill ,  it can be learned. And no one is a better teacher than you.

 You can do this alone without expensive tools or exercise equipment  or expensive plastic surgery anywhere, anyplace, anytime , because practicing charming expressions for parties in the mirror for hours is good practice, not a form of vanity in this case 

And the more insecure you are the more of it you should be doing, not less

Because if you are self conscious  and don’t like your photo made odds are good you  have been avoiding the mirror  as much  as you possibly can.  make it your best friend .

 Have someone  you trust to take hundreds of practice pics, just around the house if you like ,  while you are relaxed and  becoming more  body aware and concentrating on changing   both your appearance and your perception of it   ( in a good way, for a change ) so you get used to constantly having a camera around , every chance you get,  if you can.  or take hundreds of selfies. Some are  mathematically certain to  be not bad , if you take a whole lot of them . 

So you are never caught off guard

 Come on STOP  being  scared of a little old thing like a camera  . 

 You are a writer . If there is one thing you’ve got is guts

 Don’t be afraid  . Be prepared . 

 

By taking these specific, concrete actions towards your long term goal ,  of  liking  your appearance enough to enjoy  making, and  enjoying seeing pictures of yourself , you will look and feel better every day and always be camera comfortable and believe me, it will show

Doing whatever reduces anxiety on a regular basis leading up to, and on the day of any  occasion that you might  want to get a pic  is always a great idea. So eat all  the ice cream. Or  wear what makes you feel good and be happy 

 Instead of just  sitting around , stressing yourself out  and dreaming and wishing and hoping and praying  the day of the pictures you will magically wake up as a Kardashian 

As you become happier with the skin you’re in,  don’t be surprised if it  inspires profound  changes in all aspects of your life. Releasing yourself  from self  defeating and destructive thoughts and long- held , out of proportion, useless negative  perceptions .

The loss of  internal criticism and  unfair judgment,  appearance despair,  the  hating and blaming yourself  for  failing to live up to your own too high  superficial standards and  negative beliefs  and gaining of  a newfound respect for your body and how you perceive it , just might lead to you treating it, and yourself a little bit better as well, which  can never hurt. 

That’s the theory at least . The more you love yourself the more the camera will love you back, and that’s only one of the wonderful changes  you can manifest in your life in this fashion. Great pictures are just a side effect.

The minutes  spent in front of a mirror after  doing the work nec to discover all the things you love and find beautiful about your body will not only have an ever increasing long term effect on your appearance, just might  turn out to be your favorite part of  the day

 

So with that plan in action soon  you will be ready for the next step , actually having decent professional  photos made for your writing and promotional  and  even recreational purposes , like giving  to your mother  or partner for Christmas, trust me they will love it, they live for that stuff!

But rest assured, fear the fear of the fear of the photo session fear  can be no more

So let me just quickly sum things up. 

YOU WILL NEED A PRESENTABLE FAIRLY CURRENT  HIGH RESOLUTION PHOTOGRAPH  WHETHER YOU LIKE IT OR NOT  AT SOME POINT . plus every fool in the world has a camera on their phone and since its still not legal  to shoot people who tag you without asking first you are in danger of being on  film everywhere you go

So I suggest actually  doing something about it,  trying to like it and ourselves instead of just whining about it and feeling sorry for  ourselves because of the skin we are in.  

 

I recently had my very own professional pics made  for the very first time,and will be delighted to share every detail of my undeniable expertise and wisdom with all of you! ABOUT  EVERYTHING  I HAVE EVER LEARNED

but not today, for we seem to have run out of time

So suck it up buttercup, and start looking  for all the small beautiful things you do have that you just stopped seeing  or appreciating  and re-adjust your focus, not the cameras   .  with your  eyelashes longer and softer  than silk or two absolutely perfectly shaped ears and a belly button  that belongs in the  belly button  hall of fame,

and  remember, no matter how different you are now than you were once is not  such a terrible thing.

Age brings wisdom and experience,  which  builds character, resilience  and strength  are essential  in life and  knowledge is powerful and the longer you live the more of all that you got and it shows on your face.

Wear it with pride

so until next time …

#Read about Guest #Author Sherry Carroll

 AND Enjoy  admiring  your recently discovered prize winning  perfect elbows joints  or the lovely fawn colored silky peach fuzz on your upper arms or the surprisingly  delicate flair of your nostrils or those adorable pinky toes I would kill or die for , and get used to loving those things that make you different, and unlike yourself  at all ,if they were just to magically be photo shopped out.

And work on developing  your very best ” picture face” so when the occasion arises  you can  be confident you always look your best in front of a camera 

 You will find that the best part about  being and feeling “photo ready ” means you are  always ready  to  face your face, anytime, anyplace, every single day and actually enjoy it  and that’s a pretty great feeling. 

See You Next Time to #AskSherry Fairy  about getting your head shot . it doesn’t hurt nearly as much as you think 

 and a specal thanks again to 

I think your thoughts are worth way more than a nickel? It seems a bit pricey for mine. Good thing they are free!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s